On Dating and Breaking Up

So many hopes and dreams. I really try not to get my hopes up, but this only lasts for so long. The 'I'm dating him because I want to cross his name off my list' lasts only so long. It's my nature. I connect with people. I want to know, really know, you. I start to care about you way too quickly.

I remember when you made a comment about being charming and I thought to myself that your charm doesn't hold a candle to the intense dysfunctional charm (that has ruined me) that I've experienced in the past. And yet, as time went on, I guess you did charm me.

We didn't date for so long, but our relationship got deep fast. Even though it was a lot shorter than other dating stints, I feel like in some ways I liked you the best.

And, so, it hurts. It hurts because I see so many positives in you. It hurts because I know we could never work out. It hurts because how many times do I have to do this? How many times will I connect with someone I would be much better off forgetting about??

I want to move on, meet the right one, put this all behind me. How long will it take? What else will I have to endure?

Hashem, I'm ready whenever You are. I've been ready for awhile. I thought it was hard before, but it keeps getting harder! I've had enough.