They seem like the idyllic family. He learned in the US, learned in Israel, came back to learn in the US while he was dating, complained that he had to date 3 other girls before he met his wife (gasp!), got married to a 19 year old, moved back to Israel to learn, and now had a baby. Of course everyone is picking up their hems and running to shower them with love and support (the monetary kind as well).
No one offered me a plane ticket. Instead, I was bidden to hold down the fort while they party away in the Holyland with Baby and the new parents. Everyone is telling me that I should be more happy, more excited. I have bragging rights as the proud aunt, but I don't even feel like he has any connection to me. When will I ever get to see him? When they come home for Pesach in ten months from now?
The worst part about that is that the go-to response is something along the lines of, "Well, they'll be here sooner if you get engaged." Like, tact anyone? If I had control over that, I'd have been engaged quite awhile ago.
So then, they're the "normal" family. The ones who have followed life's path the way it's supposed to be done. I'm the one that somehow did something wrong and have been left to pick up everyone else's slack simply because I don't have my own family. I did nothing wrong. It's not in my control when I get married, when I get to move on.
I have a life even if I'm not married. You can't just throw all this responsibility on me and expect me to step into your shoes so you can go party as the proud grandparents. Yes, I live at home and you support me for the most part, but it isn't my job to be the parent when you want to go away. I have a job (which is its own headache); I can't do this too.
Did it ever occur to you that I feel left out? Left out of this occasion of the new baby, and left out of...life. All I hear all day, and if not hear, it's implied, is about how I should be married already. I get it, I want to be married too. You think I don't? Things like this make it that much harder for me.
The younger sister-in-law who was married by 19 and a mom by age 20, never had to think about a thing. Everything was always taken care of for her; she was never old enough to have to make her own decisions, take responsibility for things. Her life just followed "normal." My life didn't come with that setting. Where is my happy ending/continuation? Why is my life stuck on pause? And why do you take advantage of that?
Well, welcome Baby to the world. It isn't your fault all this got stirred up, even if it was your birth that sparked it. I have nothing against you. May you live a long happy Utopian life like that of your parents.
