Your Spouse Cannot be Your Everything

There it is, in black and white (blue and white anyway).

Marriage is not a hospital; it does not fix all your problems. The only thing that marriage cures is being single. It helps with loneliness, but there inevitably will be sometimes that you will feel alone in your marriage. It helps with your lack of social life, but you will still need friends. Your spouse will not always want to hear all your chatter (this is usually in the direction of girl to guy). It will help you "fit in" perhaps, but there will always be a "next stage" that you're waiting to reach.

You cannot look to your spouse to fulfill all of your needs. S/he isn't physically capable of that. S/he can support you and help you seek out the correct avenues to meet your needs, but there are many things that s/he won't be able to do for you. If you expect him/her to be your everything then s/he will live in the shadow of your disappointment and it will greatly hurt both of you.

You need to have friends, a relationship with your parents and family, time for yourself, passions, hobbies, maybe a career...personal fulfillment outside the relationship. Your spouse doesn't need to be involved in all of it, but hopefully s/he will cherish and support all your endeavors. S/he is your home base that you come back to at the end of a long day. 

Realize that your spouse is only human and s/he may make mistakes, and you need to give each other the time and space to work through these things. S/he won't be a mindreader; just because you're married doesn't mean you share a brain. Gender differences, personality dissimilarities, cultural disparities, etc. will all play a part into how you interpret things and interact with the world. Marriage/connection doesn't mean you see and understand things the same way all the time. Communication is key, always. 

Happiness comes from within. Marriage will help, sure, but realize there is so much you can be working on presently. What trips you up now won't go away. All these issues will be the same, multiplied. Living with someone you barely know (no matter how long you date someone) is a challenge in it of itself. Add many other changes that come with marriage, and you're now swimming in a whole new sea of demands. 

Maybe this is obvious, but now's the time to work on yourself. People who get married later and have had time to get to know themselves and work on themselves outside of a system (elementary school to high school to seminary/yeshiva...) usually fare better in a marriage.