When we say "v'damyech chayee," "by your blood you shall live," in the Haggadah, we're referring to the dam of meilah and karbon pesach; however, it struck me that this can also be an endorsement (or rather source) for the popular maxim, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
The Jews went through g'henom in Mitzrayim, but they came out a strong nation, much stronger than when they entered the land. We go through so many hardships in life, but it is these situations that make us into who we are. If we are never challenged, we cannot grow.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Self-Esteem and Poker Chips
Popular educator Richard (Rick) Lavoie has a brilliant take on self-esteem. It is affectionately known as the "Poker Chip Theory." Lavoie purports that some people have huge piles of poker chips, and these people are undeniably unstoppable winners. Others start off with just a couple of short stacks in front of them.
Watch any World Series of Poker and it's quite evident that almost always when big stacks meets short stack, big stack throws his weight around. Also, short stack is usually cautious and timid.
Every morning we wake up, we pick up our stacks, and head to our poker tournament. A disgruntled word with a roommate, sibling, etc. robs us of some chips from our stacks. An angry driver or insane traffic, near accident, or the like depletes 3 stacks, and by the time you reach work, you're down 4 stacks. You may have only woken up with 7 stacks, so you're down to 3 stacks to last you an entire day. Your day begins in earnest and you realize you're right up against a deadline and not feeling very confident you're going to make it. Your ever efficient coworker offers to help you out and bungles her assignment, but don't worry about her because she has lots of stacks of chips to fall back on. You reach your deadline just in time and get praise from your boss. Up some chips. You break for lunch and bump into a friend you haven't seen in forever. You chat, she compliments you, you laugh over a shared joke...chips are piling up...When you get back to the office there's a crisis, but you have a poker chip reserve to fall back on and make it out of there without any tears.
To make a long story short, somethings deplete poker chips more than others. However, instead of avoiding such situations, we just need to head into the game stronger. We need to find ways to grow our chip stacks.
Watch any World Series of Poker and it's quite evident that almost always when big stacks meets short stack, big stack throws his weight around. Also, short stack is usually cautious and timid.
Every morning we wake up, we pick up our stacks, and head to our poker tournament. A disgruntled word with a roommate, sibling, etc. robs us of some chips from our stacks. An angry driver or insane traffic, near accident, or the like depletes 3 stacks, and by the time you reach work, you're down 4 stacks. You may have only woken up with 7 stacks, so you're down to 3 stacks to last you an entire day. Your day begins in earnest and you realize you're right up against a deadline and not feeling very confident you're going to make it. Your ever efficient coworker offers to help you out and bungles her assignment, but don't worry about her because she has lots of stacks of chips to fall back on. You reach your deadline just in time and get praise from your boss. Up some chips. You break for lunch and bump into a friend you haven't seen in forever. You chat, she compliments you, you laugh over a shared joke...chips are piling up...When you get back to the office there's a crisis, but you have a poker chip reserve to fall back on and make it out of there without any tears.
To make a long story short, somethings deplete poker chips more than others. However, instead of avoiding such situations, we just need to head into the game stronger. We need to find ways to grow our chip stacks.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Living Life in Limbo
During the days before Pesach, we kind of live in limbo. With the almost Pesach-dik kitchen, no chometz in the house, preparing all we can for the upcoming holiday, we are neither here nor there. We’re doing all this hard work to prepare for what is to come, and it’s at the extent of our here-and-now. The thing is, it’s kind of hard to avoid that. If you don’t toil on erev Shabbos, you can’t eat on Shabbos.
So, most people may feel like this only before Pesach, but this is what my life has become. I’m living in limbo every day. I’m waiting for someone to hire me for a job; I’m waiting to find my bashert and start a new life with him. The only difference with my limbo and the limbo before Pesach, is that with Pesach, we know when it will arrive. We can make a schedule based on what we have to do before it gets here so we’re ready when it’s here. Also, the limbo stage is not indefinite. It does not become the question of, “Is this what my life is destined to be?” While of course I question when I will find a job and when I will meet my husband, I know when Pesach will come, so I don’t find myself asking if Pesach will come.
Living in limbo is difficult for a lot of reasons. Most people don’t understand what my life is like. It’s always the “It will come; be patient,” comment. I guess people don’t know what else to say, and it’s true, I’m sure it will come. However, you still need to eat the week before Pesach even though your kitchen and house are in the “not quite Pesach-dik but no chometz allowed” phase. I still need to feel productive even though I’m waiting on life-altering events. It’s hard to wait, especially when I feel so stuck.
So, most people may feel like this only before Pesach, but this is what my life has become. I’m living in limbo every day. I’m waiting for someone to hire me for a job; I’m waiting to find my bashert and start a new life with him. The only difference with my limbo and the limbo before Pesach, is that with Pesach, we know when it will arrive. We can make a schedule based on what we have to do before it gets here so we’re ready when it’s here. Also, the limbo stage is not indefinite. It does not become the question of, “Is this what my life is destined to be?” While of course I question when I will find a job and when I will meet my husband, I know when Pesach will come, so I don’t find myself asking if Pesach will come.
Living in limbo is difficult for a lot of reasons. Most people don’t understand what my life is like. It’s always the “It will come; be patient,” comment. I guess people don’t know what else to say, and it’s true, I’m sure it will come. However, you still need to eat the week before Pesach even though your kitchen and house are in the “not quite Pesach-dik but no chometz allowed” phase. I still need to feel productive even though I’m waiting on life-altering events. It’s hard to wait, especially when I feel so stuck.
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