Living Life in Limbo

During the days before Pesach, we kind of live in limbo. With the almost Pesach-dik kitchen, no chometz in the house, preparing all we can for the upcoming holiday, we are neither here nor there. We’re doing all this hard work to prepare for what is to come, and it’s at the extent of our here-and-now. The thing is, it’s kind of hard to avoid that. If you don’t toil on erev Shabbos, you can’t eat on Shabbos.


So, most people may feel like this only before Pesach, but this is what my life has become. I’m living in limbo every day. I’m waiting for someone to hire me for a job; I’m waiting to find my bashert and start a new life with him. The only difference with my limbo and the limbo before Pesach, is that with Pesach, we know when it will arrive. We can make a schedule based on what we have to do before it gets here so we’re ready when it’s here. Also, the limbo stage is not indefinite. It does not become the question of, “Is this what my life is destined to be?” While of course I question when I will find a job and when I will meet my husband, I know when Pesach will come, so I don’t find myself asking if Pesach will come.


Living in limbo is difficult for a lot of reasons. Most people don’t understand what my life is like. It’s always the “It will come; be patient,” comment. I guess people don’t know what else to say, and it’s true, I’m sure it will come. However, you still need to eat the week before Pesach even though your kitchen and house are in the “not quite Pesach-dik but no chometz allowed” phase. I still need to feel productive even though I’m waiting on life-altering events. It’s hard to wait, especially when I feel so stuck.