Does the shidduch system let us be real?
When you first meet your date, how much research have you done that you may know too much irrelevant information about him or her? Do you have a preconceived notion about him/her? How much work do you have to do to undo what you already know to actually get to know your date?
Can you genuinely work on making a connection with someone when there's so little leeway? How much can you really put yourself out there when s/he might just get back to the shadchan with a "no"? Where do we work on communication? I've known couples to not only break-up (after a long enough dating stint) through a shadchan, but to also get engaged through a third party as well! What are we creating here?
Is everything fair game, or will someone buck when s/he hears something a little too challenging or out of the box about you? We place so much value on getting "the perfect one" that we sometimes lose sight of how everyone is a package deal - strengths, weaknesses, pluses, minuses. It isn't so much how this person has something 'wrong', but is this characteristic right for me?
Does shidduch dating allow us to be genuine?
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