Expectations

Sitting here and wondering,
With this list in my hand and pain in my heart,
What is it that is keeping
Me and my zivug apart?


Am I unrealistic or too rigid
With my criteria for a soulmate?
Why is it that I
Just can’t seem to get a date?


Is searching for the persona that I’m seeking
Akin to looking for a needle in a haystack?
Am I confused about what I need -
Between what is opinion and what is fact?


Do I truly know what I need,
Or is it really all just what I desire?
How can I be sure what is best for me,
What I actually require?


I know I want a learning guy.
Do I need to change my dream?
Perhaps my brand of “worldly”
Doesn’t come in that particular theme.


Just because “out of the box”
Is my wish,
Does that also have to mean
Out of the Beis Medrash?


I’m looking for a guy
Who is a bit of a gavrah,
Does that automatically translate into
‘Somewhat of a baal gaayva?’


An individual thinker
Is the type I am looking for.
Can’t they also have a rav and be sho’el eitza -
Why do, daas torah, they ignore?


Am I being too particular,
Is it too much?
Is what I say I am looking for
A contradiction of such?


Part of the equation
To this question,
Is what happens
When someone makes a suggestion.


I know that people have ideas,
And people call my references.
But do the guys that they are redting
Match my list of preferences?


Why is it that these suggestions
Never come to fruition?
Is it merely because
They just aren’t good propositions?


Perhaps people may not understand
What I say I need.
They redt a different type
And so they don’t succeed.


But as much as I can wonder if few dates
Means I’m doing something wrong, sort of -
I know I just have to trust myself
And trust the One Above.


There’s lots of room to second guess myself
And to think I’m doing something wrong,
But it’s more helpful to hold onto my dream
And wait for my bashert to come along.


We’re used to things being immediate,
To seeing fruits of our labor right away.
But that’s not how it goes
When we do hishtadlus and pray.


Hashem knows what is best for us;
It’s all in the plan.
Hashem is the One in control,
We must only do what we can.


If something is important to you,
Don’t throw it away.
Just hang in there, hold on tight,
You will have your day.