First Dates, Ex-cetera

First dates are not exciting anymore. It used to be that a first date held hope for me that this guy could be The One. Now it’s just about whether or not it will be someone I will dread spending time with or actually have a good time in his company. How will he treat me? What will happen in that hopefully short amount of time? Will I have clarity about the direction forward?

Call me a cynic, a pessimist, if you must. I call it a reality check. Perhaps it just has to do with my current situation and path of emotional carnage. Will this ever be over?

So of course I started writing this post a few days ago, and at this point I have a different kind of clarity. I mean, there will be more first dates in my future, sure, but what warning signs do I need to see as stop signs is the real question. Will gut feelings this strong always play out this accurately? Or maybe it will feel like this for every potential person.

How did it get to this? Every person, every first date, used to...not feel like this...at the very least.