Someone once shared their wit about the shidduch system. "The girls are all lost in a desert, the guys in a forest." I'm not sure how I feel about this one. I mean, I get it. Girls tend to wait around for someone to express interest in going out with them. (Tumbleweed meme, anyone?) Guys generally are bombarded with names. Is either side easier than the other?
Personally, I would like to think that as a girl when a resume comes across my inbox it would be somewhat on target. I mean, the resumes without "a yes" from a guy are meaningless to me and those aren't even considered suggestions. (I learned this a long time ago. While I might decide such a resume looks interesting and wait to hear back about his interest, in reality the guy has probably never even heard my name. Or he did, and my profile is buried somewhere along with the rest of names that make him feel oh so sought-after and special. But, that doesn't mean he's even glanced at any of them.) And so, when a guy is interested in me, one would think that it at least makes superficial sense. That's more than we can say about the names that lots of guys get. Often shadchanim throw spaghetti at a wall and see if anything sticks. (Different discussion altogether. Maybe a rant for a future post.)
Either way, it's been a bit of an experience for me lately. Often I tend to get "yeses" sort of clumped together. I might have a spell where I won't go out in a few months, and then all of a sudden in the same week I'll get two or three yeses. It's weird how this happens.
This one is a new level though. In a two week period I received about a minyan of "yeses." Surprisingly most of them were via people that I actually know. Not surprisingly I was able to nix at least half of them right away. And of the ones remaining, I may not even go out with any of them.
When I was venting my frustration and stress about this, a friend said to me, "At least you have names." When I shared how stressful it was and how it makes me question if I'm saying "no thank you" to G-d when He may be sending me my zivug in a package that makes no sense to me and having to figure that out, she took back her comment. (Yeah, yeah, I know by now who I can talk to about these things. It's the "Well I'm sorry you're so popular" comment that gets me. I won't rub this in your face, because I know that any attention would feel nice to you, but a bunch of people not for me doesn't feel that nice. Different nisayon that ultimately has the same end.) I honestly sometimes wish for the empty, quiet bus stop.
I'm hoping this is the part of the game where everything kind of flies at you at once, and you have to dodge, duck, jump, and/or slash the oncoming hurdles to reach the finish line. (Those wolverine claws would come in handy just about now.)
Pouring rain isn't awesome. Slogging through the puddles is really uncomfortable. I just want one, the clarity to know he is The One, and that's it. I don't want to date anyone that isn't for me, especially with my track record.
No comments:
Post a Comment