Accept not Expect

I once heard some very wise words: "Frustration lies within the gap between expectation and reality." When we expect less, we are always less disappointed. When we expect something to happen and it doesn't, we just end up feeling gypped.

Now, how exactly does this work? When we expect something to happen and it doesn't, we are setting ourselves up for failure; yet, shouldn't we have some expectations in life? Aren't there expectations that are healthy?

It is true that if you don't expect to win the lottery or to have a party for your birthday, when it happens it's quite a pleasant surprise. On the flip-side of this coin, if you expect to be paid on time or for everyone to remember your birthday, and it doesn't happen, then you are sorely disappointed. Seemingly the first option is the better one here. However, isn't having no expectations a quite pessimistic view on life? You don't expect people to smile and greet you when you walk past them. You expect there to be traffic on the way to work. You expect there to be no dinner when you get home. How does that make you happier?

Perhaps like everything in life, there is a balance, a fine line between expecting and accepting. It is healthy to have some expectation, but when things don't roll your way you just have to accept it as part of life. I'm not so sure that it's healthier to have negative expectations just so that you won't feel let down when things don't go your way. Part of being an adult is learning to accept disappointment. Things can't always go your way, that would just be boring. Variety is the spice of life; you've just got to accept that.