The more right-wing someone grew up, the more they've probably been taught that the secular world is "bad," "not what we do," or just stam to be avoided. Even though we hold the truth of "Chachma b'goyim taamin," so much of the time the baby gets thrown out with the bathwater.
As people grow up and hopefully begin to think for themselves, understand life from a stance of critical thought and not just mindless inculcation, they can start taking in experiences from life outside of our insular society and filter what to let in and what to keep out.
Don't get me wrong, there is something beautiful about insularity and the ability to uphold and protect strict boundaries. As an impressionable child perhaps this is necessary, this obstruction of exposure to most ideas (be them within secular media or simply people's appearance and behaviors on the street) outside Judaism. Yet, as we become adults and learn who we are and foster our individual connection with Hashem and Yiddishkeit, some of these boundaries shift.
Sometimes, like I've mentioned multiple times in these pages, it's about disengagement. But, often there is this "natural evolution of decay," ie. once we leave a structured environment where we were focused on learning and growing, we slowly let go of it if it isn't serving its purpose –– especially if it seems to be bringing pain.
Perhaps within a family structure where others' ruchniyus is being affected as well, we might avoid certain questionable media or the like. It's easy to convince ourselves that since we don't have that right now, it's okay, for now. Maybe it is; maybe it isn't. I'm not making a call on that. I'm just trying to explore the rationale. (The longer someone is single, the longer s/he has to let this fester and stretch.)
When where I feel most successful, at work or anywhere outside the structure that makes me feel like I don't belong, becomes where I want my mindset to be, that could get sticky. What if that's a secular environment and I'm surrounded by people with morals so different than my own? That will probably affect the way I see things after awhile.
I can still remember attending a friend's Chanukah party a few years back. I didn't know most of the people she invited, all different types of girls from different aspects of her life. They were all frum Bais Yaakov girls though. I recall being appalled when one girl was saying that she would love to have a holiday bush or tree, because it's "so within the holiday spirit." "It doesn't have to be a Christmas tree," she said, "But who really cares anyway? It's just cute." I don't know her, so I don't have any idea where that was coming from, but do we really need to look to the outside world for celebration ideas? We have so many of our own holidays!
And yet, there are the things that perhaps are rejected simply because they weren't founded within a Torah society, but can definitely be beneficial. Various hobbies, therapy or support groups, even clean movies and music can all be wholesome and useful. There is definitely a fine line, and that line is in a different place for everyone, but we need not lose sight of what we can gain if we can take what we like and leave the rest.
No comments:
Post a Comment