Last Rosh Hashana I wrote about how fiery speeches about gehenom have not been broadly used to motivate us in recent times. Instead, most popular contemporary baalei mussar have appealed to us through the venue of Hashem’s love for us, and yiraas shamyim and ahavas Hashem are closely intertwined. The yirah is an awareness of s'char v'onesh and a sense of right and wrong; the ahava can be an outlook and a means to achieve the awareness.
I think especially when you feel like you're faced with the same, or similar, challenges over and over, and it's so much easier to disengage, this mindset is so helpful. Going into Rosh Hashana knowing that everything that will happen in the coming year is being decided, thinking that you davened well last year, but are still feeling very stuck, it's a challenge. Focusing on a love and relationship with G-d changes that perspective though.
I want to expound on that here.
I've found that there are two general schools of thought when it comes to the Yamim Noraim and teshuva.
I've found that there are two general schools of thought when it comes to the Yamim Noraim and teshuva.
One approach is the fire and brimstone, "Shimu na HaMorim!" "Ma L'cha Nirdam?!" We're told that we're asleep, taking our life that G-d graciously gave us and throwing it away. We're labeled hypocritical for rationalizing and excusing our misdeeds as positive actions. Basically, what it boils down to is that we're on a one-way trip to gehenom. We're disconnected from our neshama, and we're going nowhere fast. This style sometimes works to shock us out of complacency. We get scared; we feel regret, and this generates positive change. Sometimes. Yet, many times it backfires. Either it causes us to give up because it seems like we're so far gone, or it breeds excuses. We think to ourselves that we're not that bad; we find something good we're doing in life to get us off the hook.
Approach two is that of a benevolent G-d waiting for His child to bring home a test even with just a "C" circled in red on top. I've heard Rabbi Baruch Leff speak about this idea, as he titled it, "We're Not as Bad as We Think We Are." Compared to generations of the past, he says, we are exposed to that much more shmutz. In fact, during a person's 15 minute drive to work or school, or perhaps even during a mere walk down the street, we are exposed to more than what our ancestors were exposed to in their entire life in the shtetl. Rabbi Leff suggests that because of our situation Hashem takes what He can get, so to speak, and does not judge our mitzvos as inferior. Whatever it is that we're up against gets weighed in the equation. It isn't so much what we are or aren't doing right, but what sort of relationship do you have with Hashem?
So, here's the question: which approach works "better"? Which is more real? Is it simply a matter of preference? How can scaring people by saying that they're doomed before they start be a catalyst for change? But then, how can telling people that they're just fine how they are motivate them either?
Does the difference here lie in teshuva m'yirah vs. teshuva m'ahava? We're so scared of gehenom that we change our ways, rather than realizing that Hashem loves every mitzvah we do and then mirror that love in our actions. This generation, I think, is more understanding of love. Any harsh punishment is termed "abuse" and has the very real potential to send someone off the derech. The Torah believes in punishment; what do we do with a ben soreh u'moreh? A mechalel Shabbos gets skeilah. Yet, we are a product of our society, and we find it hard to tolerate anything but positive reinforcement. Perhaps it is for this reason that we like the ahava model better. But, do we understand it for real? Are we really on that level? Ahavas Hashem is really a step above fearing G-d.
R' Itzik Isaac Sher, the author of Leket Sichos Mussar, tells us that the ikar avodas Elul is to realize "Ani L'Dodi, V'Dodi Li," "I am to My beloved as My beloved is to Me." We're supposed to spend Elul realizing that Hashem loves us no matter what. Hashem knows where we are spiritually. He sets up test after test for us, because He believes in us; He thinks very highly of us. It's easy for us to get stuck listening to the voice of the Yetzer Hara telling us all sorts of things: "You're so far gone." "It's the same thing year after year, so why bother this year?" "I just don't want to change; what's the point when it won't stick?" "I'm comfortable where I am." "This is who I am. Those things are for yeshivish people." "I'm not working on all that right now. It's not important or a priority."
Ahavas Hashem is not about letting us off the hook! It's about your relationship with G-d. Relationships are a lot of work! Shlomo Hamelech said, "Cholas ahava ani," Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein translates, "I am sick in love with Hashem!" How many of us can really say that? Does it hurt us that Hashem is missing from our lives? Do we feel sick with longing to be close to Hashem, have a committed relationship with Him and no other? If this was our level of ahavas Hashem how could we not do as He asks? Won't we do anything for someone we love?
Actually, this is one of the main themes of Rosh Hashana. Rabbi Wallerstein questions why we blow shofar on Rosh Hashana if the point is to commemorate akeidas Yitzchok. Why are we reminding Hashem of the ayeil that Avraham brought as a korban rather than sacrificing Yitzchok? Shouldn't it be anything but that; the ram is the recognition that Avraham didn't actually sacrifice Yitzchok!
Briefly, the answer is that we can say that akeidas Yitzchok was done out of fear of G-d. The Satan tried to stop Avraham from bringing Yitzchok, but at the point when it became apparent that Avraham was willing and ready to sacrifice his son, the pasuk says, "Atah yadati ki yarei elokim atah." But Avraham was not going to stop at that! He could have very well taken his son and gone home. Hashem told him what to do, he did it, Hashem then told him to stop. He was yotzei! But no! "Hashem! You told me to bring a korban; I'm not going to go home until I've brought you a korban! " This was Avraham's undying love of Hashem. The Satan could not bear to see this, so while the ayeil was running toward Avraham, the Satan wrapped it in thorns and vines, making it a teircha for Avraham to reach. Yiras Elokim the Satan can handle, but ahavas Hashem is that much greater.
We do teshuva out of fear, our aveiros get erased, but when we do teshuva out of ahava, they become mitzvos! Not only can they not testify against us in shamyim, they become advocates for us! And this is the power of akeidas Yitzchok. So, yes, it makes sense that we blow shofar, the horn of a ram. The ayeil commemorates the ahavas Hashem that Avraham portrayed. It is even stronger than the actual willingness to sacrifice Yitchok, because this sacrifice was out of ahava.
It is for this reason that blowing shofar causes Hashem to k'vyachol to get up from his keisay din and switch to his keisay rachamim. If we love Hashem, He will give us everything we need. If we really need something, we'll get it, because G-d gives each and everyone one of us everything we need to flourish in this world.
Approach two is that of a benevolent G-d waiting for His child to bring home a test even with just a "C" circled in red on top. I've heard Rabbi Baruch Leff speak about this idea, as he titled it, "We're Not as Bad as We Think We Are." Compared to generations of the past, he says, we are exposed to that much more shmutz. In fact, during a person's 15 minute drive to work or school, or perhaps even during a mere walk down the street, we are exposed to more than what our ancestors were exposed to in their entire life in the shtetl. Rabbi Leff suggests that because of our situation Hashem takes what He can get, so to speak, and does not judge our mitzvos as inferior. Whatever it is that we're up against gets weighed in the equation. It isn't so much what we are or aren't doing right, but what sort of relationship do you have with Hashem?
So, here's the question: which approach works "better"? Which is more real? Is it simply a matter of preference? How can scaring people by saying that they're doomed before they start be a catalyst for change? But then, how can telling people that they're just fine how they are motivate them either?
Does the difference here lie in teshuva m'yirah vs. teshuva m'ahava? We're so scared of gehenom that we change our ways, rather than realizing that Hashem loves every mitzvah we do and then mirror that love in our actions. This generation, I think, is more understanding of love. Any harsh punishment is termed "abuse" and has the very real potential to send someone off the derech. The Torah believes in punishment; what do we do with a ben soreh u'moreh? A mechalel Shabbos gets skeilah. Yet, we are a product of our society, and we find it hard to tolerate anything but positive reinforcement. Perhaps it is for this reason that we like the ahava model better. But, do we understand it for real? Are we really on that level? Ahavas Hashem is really a step above fearing G-d.
R' Itzik Isaac Sher, the author of Leket Sichos Mussar, tells us that the ikar avodas Elul is to realize "Ani L'Dodi, V'Dodi Li," "I am to My beloved as My beloved is to Me." We're supposed to spend Elul realizing that Hashem loves us no matter what. Hashem knows where we are spiritually. He sets up test after test for us, because He believes in us; He thinks very highly of us. It's easy for us to get stuck listening to the voice of the Yetzer Hara telling us all sorts of things: "You're so far gone." "It's the same thing year after year, so why bother this year?" "I just don't want to change; what's the point when it won't stick?" "I'm comfortable where I am." "This is who I am. Those things are for yeshivish people." "I'm not working on all that right now. It's not important or a priority."
Ahavas Hashem is not about letting us off the hook! It's about your relationship with G-d. Relationships are a lot of work! Shlomo Hamelech said, "Cholas ahava ani," Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein translates, "I am sick in love with Hashem!" How many of us can really say that? Does it hurt us that Hashem is missing from our lives? Do we feel sick with longing to be close to Hashem, have a committed relationship with Him and no other? If this was our level of ahavas Hashem how could we not do as He asks? Won't we do anything for someone we love?
Actually, this is one of the main themes of Rosh Hashana. Rabbi Wallerstein questions why we blow shofar on Rosh Hashana if the point is to commemorate akeidas Yitzchok. Why are we reminding Hashem of the ayeil that Avraham brought as a korban rather than sacrificing Yitzchok? Shouldn't it be anything but that; the ram is the recognition that Avraham didn't actually sacrifice Yitzchok!
Briefly, the answer is that we can say that akeidas Yitzchok was done out of fear of G-d. The Satan tried to stop Avraham from bringing Yitzchok, but at the point when it became apparent that Avraham was willing and ready to sacrifice his son, the pasuk says, "Atah yadati ki yarei elokim atah." But Avraham was not going to stop at that! He could have very well taken his son and gone home. Hashem told him what to do, he did it, Hashem then told him to stop. He was yotzei! But no! "Hashem! You told me to bring a korban; I'm not going to go home until I've brought you a korban! " This was Avraham's undying love of Hashem. The Satan could not bear to see this, so while the ayeil was running toward Avraham, the Satan wrapped it in thorns and vines, making it a teircha for Avraham to reach. Yiras Elokim the Satan can handle, but ahavas Hashem is that much greater.
We do teshuva out of fear, our aveiros get erased, but when we do teshuva out of ahava, they become mitzvos! Not only can they not testify against us in shamyim, they become advocates for us! And this is the power of akeidas Yitzchok. So, yes, it makes sense that we blow shofar, the horn of a ram. The ayeil commemorates the ahavas Hashem that Avraham portrayed. It is even stronger than the actual willingness to sacrifice Yitchok, because this sacrifice was out of ahava.
It is for this reason that blowing shofar causes Hashem to k'vyachol to get up from his keisay din and switch to his keisay rachamim. If we love Hashem, He will give us everything we need. If we really need something, we'll get it, because G-d gives each and everyone one of us everything we need to flourish in this world.
Perhaps this Rosh Hashana davening's focus can be to foster your relationship with HK"BH by recognizing Who is Melech (king) and how privileged you are to have a special relationship with Him.
Ksiva V'chasima Tova and Shana Tova U'Mesuka!
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