It's Not Yet Time

"Sometimes It's Not Goodbye, Just A Hello Waiting Patiently for Another Time"

~The Better Man Project

I stumbled across "professional life coach, writer, and diehard encourager" Evan Sanders's blog, and I was immediately struck by how raw and genuine his writing is. A particular post, And I Wondered, "Does This Path Have Heart," grabbed me. I read it a few times realizing that I connected with it because I so deeply relate to what he writes, so much so that I could have written it myself. 

He talks about his challenge never having been to successfully love deeply, but it being in the letting go. He writes about how scenes and moments play over and over in his mind in full color and how each instance he feels all those emotions so deeply. 

This isn't another rant why breakups hurt so much (even though they do and I was thinking today about more reasons why breakups are so hard...perhaps I'll share them before this post is over), and if you're looking for practical ways to get over a breakup and/or unrequited love, I direct you to my Loves Me Not post and suggest you track down a copy of the book that inspired the post. I'm not quite sure what this post is about yet, to be honest, but as I'm writing I think it's about timing.

A client of mine this week shared that he was finally in the place career-wise that he was trying to get to for the past five years or so, a place that would have made his previous relationship of four years work that much easier. They're no longer together, and his current relationship doesn't feel the same to him. He just wants to share this success and happiness with someone he feels like cares about it as much as he does, someone who saw him through the hard work and knows what it means to him.

This is one of those reasons (that I mentioned I might write about) why breakups hurt. It's in the sharing your life with someone who genuinely cares about you. Your happiness makes them happy and vice versa. It's just how relationships work; it's in the connectedness. When you lose/don't have this person everything seems so much less vibrant or exciting. Truly, having someone to share your life with halves your troubles and doubles your joys.

Back to the timing thing though. If only my client could have gotten to where he is now a year and a half ago. Maybe it would have saved his relationship. And maybe his relationship just wasn't meant to be. And for the breakups and goodbyes that I'm struggling with now, clearly we're not meant to be right now. It's not yet time.

I need the space, we need the space, to get to where we can have a real chance. Love/like/affection/comfortability does NOT conquer all. I'm learning that everything has a time and place, and as much as patience is not something I'm great at, I'm strengthening it every day. Together with my emunah.