Tu B'Av: Some Pointers

A quick word on Segulos.

That being said, what is Tu B'Av about? Girls dressed in white, dancing in fields, attracting young men...a shidduch system so unlike our own...

I heard some beautiful thoughts from R' Zvi Weiss tonight about Tu B'Av. He shared that just as 40 days before a child is conceived his bashert is named in shamayim, 40 days before the yetziera of the world (the marriage of Hashem, Torah, and Am Yisroel) on chof hey Elul, the match is announced in Heaven. This day is Tu B'Av. (Do the math!)

Machshava, the plan, is so much more perfect than ma'aseh. ("Sof ma'aseh, v'machshava techila") The plan is always first; it doesn't always come to fruition flawlessly, but it's always first. There's a perfect plan for all of us; Hashem knows what He's doing, and He has our lives all figured out. On Tu B'Av we daven that this plan be carried out in its perfection, because we have the ability to get in our own way. We have the bechira to mess things up. Tu B'Av is the machshava stage, and we pray today that our lives follow this carefully laid plan.

On a slightly different note, during these Tu B'Av celebrations none of the young women wore their own clothes. The gemara says, "Klei lavan shoalin," they borrowed white garments. They wore borrowed dresses to save those people from embarrassment who did not have nice clothes. In fact, said R' Weiss, those who were more affluent borrowed from those who had less money, etc. It was that everyone should be able to feel equal, all wearing each others' clothing.

This is the point of Tu B'Av, to put ourselves in someone else's shoes.

R' Weiss extrapolated this point further to suggest that "lavan" refers too to "leiben," hearts. We share not only our clothing, but a piece of our hearts. We all have pain, but if I can give you a piece of my heart, if I can empathize with you, I can lessen your pain a bit. This, this is the point of Tu B'Av.

On Tu B'Av it is not just about davening for your own shidduch, but davening for your peers. Your pain is my pain. I feel what you're feeling; you're not alone. Reach out, let me know how I can help you...