Of the many perils of reading frum literature...
Mishpacha magazine, in their Family First supplement, runs a column called "Words Unspoken," which provides a forum for random individuals to vent or share personal insights with Mishapacha's readership about subjects which apparently they're too reticent to actually voice in real life. Or they just need a soapbox.
The Sukkos edition features a letter written by "A Former Single" who just wants to let all singles know that she used to be them and feels their pain. Beautiful.
"I feel like a fraud," she voices.
"I know how you feel," she sighs.
"Please don't walk away when there is a group of us talking about bedtimes and sheitels," she frets.
Oh. No. You. Didn't.
I understand you get how this feels having been there not too long ago yourself; however, if you do, then don't be like all those people who caused you pain back then. You will remember that you don't want your married friends telling you what to do and how to feel. And, if you want us to stay and catch up, then don't talk about married things.
It's really nice that you're trying to empathize, and I'm truly sorry that the pain of being single for too long didn't go away after you got married and had children. But, you no longer have a foot in this world. You need to move on and start forgetting that hurt, being happy with what you have now. You're not one of us anymore. Don't worry, if you remember, it isn't an exciting exclusive club.
Why shouldn't we walk away? It's like when four people meet up socially, and three are accountants/lawyers/nuclear physicists, and they proceed to talk shop. Would that be polite, to exclude the fourth woman?
ReplyDeleteBeing polite, as I recalled from my childhood, would be to find a topic of conversation that includes everyone. The weather. Recent gripping literature. Where they got those shoes. And so on.
Of course the marrieds should move on with their lives. We want/expect them to. But they don't have to (overtly) pity us, either.
👍
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