Perhaps there is something that I can't think of, for I'm having a hard time coming up with events or situations that elicit the stark dichotomy of emotions that a wedding (or other such simcha) does. Where else is there quite such disparate emotions being experienced at once? While some people present are over the moon with joy, others, such as older single siblings, relatives, friends, are experiencing uttermost pain.
A friend of mine brought up this point as we stood around at a friend of our's younger sibling's wedding. Having attended a classmate's wedding earlier this week (having to see how all her classmates have moved on with life years ago and she's still stuck) and her younger sibling's wedding a few months ago, she is well acquainted with the feeling. What should be incredibly happy is so hard and so painful.
I'm sure there's some shame that's behind this, a feeling of deviating from the norm by no fault of our own. It's also about how this simcha rubs what we don't have, and what we can't be, in our faces. Even if we don't think poorly of ourselves because of it, there is a small part that wonders why aren't we worthy to be married or why it's like this.
It's crazy how circumstances or status can change so much. We could be so happy for the baalei simcha if we were just not in this position at this point in our lives. If I was married, I would be so happy for the person getting married. I wish I could be regardless, but I just can't. I hate that.
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