Things I’ve Gained From Not Getting Married Right Away

It's easy to lament over all the things that are difficult regarding being single. It's harder to recognize that there are positive aspects as well, things we would have missed out on had we gotten married right away. I was talking this over with a friend recently, and we decided to compile thoughts from various "older" singles on this topic. Below is the beginning of this list.

• I've had multiple opportunities to connect with and increase my reliance on HK”BH.
• I have the flexibility to pursue interests/hobbies (ex: playing an instrument, working out, arts, travel).
• I've gained increased empathy, learning how to better relate with others who are lacking/struggling. 
• I gained understanding of myself through this process of meeting people, seeing what does and doesn't work for me and why.
• I gained understanding of others, other personalities and hashkafos.
• I get to travel/vacation/see exotic places.
• I'm learning patience and flexibility. 
• I'm learning to trust that there is a Master Plan greater than any plans I could have made.
• I got to finish my degree with menuchas hanefesh, being able to make it a priority, and not having to worry about financial pressure or a spouse/family.
• I've fostered connections/relationships with a lot of different people I wouldn’t have had I had my own home/family.
• I had the flexibility to figure out which field/job is right for me, because I didn’t have financial pressure.
• I got to not only figure out who I am, but once I know who I am, I can work on improving me.
• I've learned that there are many ways to serve the Eibishter. I've realized that if I am not married yet, that is by His Will. 
• I gained recognition that my value is not tied to an event that is beyond my control.
• I'm learning how to react to situations with the proper attitude.
• Because I have been on the receiving end of so many hurtful words, I decided I don't ever want to do that to anyone.
• Once I would have believed something was another's "fault," now I've gained the clarity that we don't know why things are.
• I've gained so much more compassion for others; having to struggle with this pain has taught me to be kind to everyone who is struggling.
• I became so much more independent and open-minded. 
• Being single has given me the opportunity to try to find meaning in so many different things. I notice and recognize so much more now.
• I have the financial freedom and flexibility to make big purchases and take frequent and grand vacations, to live large and take risks.
• I've met a lot of cool people and learned a lot from them.
• I've been on some really cool dates, having some experiences and going some places I never would have had I married my first guy.
• I've learned the importance of self-care having to take care of myself. 
• I've learned to parent myself and to be a capable adult. Stepping off the "conveyor belt" forced me to do so.
• I've had to figure out how to cope with pain and challenge, and in doing so, I've gotten stronger. It's lent me more confidence in my ability to cope with adversity in general. 
• I've learned that I am accountable to myself. I can rely on others, yet be fully responsible for myself.
• I've learned that it really doesn't matter what people think. Their thoughts don't define who I am. If I don't or can't live up to their expectations, it doesn't change my identity.
• I've learned how much following up with someone makes a difference. Until I was in shidduchim I didn't realize how much it means when someone gets back to you about something and how it can sting when they don't.
• Meeting a lot of people and having various interactions with them has taught me about my needs and what makes me feel secure and insecure.
• I've gained some ground in the ability to see that my life, however fragmented it may seem to me, is a complete story, and I'm merely living the beginning.
• I'm learning (that I have to and) how to create my place within a society that seems to not know how to relate to those who don't follow the conventional path.
• I've gained the realization that life is a process and the best things come to those who wait (hopefully).
• I learned how we have to dance in the rain, make the most of difficult situations.
• I've gained relationship skills via learning how to understand and connect with various individuals, what things to do and what to avoid.
• I've learned that I'm stronger than I think, and I can deal with a lot.
• I learned to better cope with rejection, how most of the time it’s not personal, and how I can avoid letting it drag me down by recognizing this.
• I’ve gained sensitivity and tact, learning how and what to say or not to say to people in difficult situations.
• I'm learning how we're all different and we don't have to follow the same path in life.
• From the experiences that I’ve had with shadchanim or just other random people, I’ve gained pointers on how to be genuine and caring, what to do and what not to do.
• I had the opportunity to be there when my younger siblings were growing up. Had I gotten married right away we wouldn't have lived in the same house and had the same close relationship most probably.
• Because I have few financial obligations, I was able to already pay off my car and school loans. People are stuck paying these for years when they have many other bills supporting a family.