Phones on a Date

Back in the old days we used an actual GPS or perhaps printed directions to get to the destination on a date. Nowadays we use our phones for everything. It used to be rude to take your phone out on a date, now it's common to access something on your phone to share with your date, whether it's pictures, something relevant to dating or getting to know you, looking up a hechsher, finding a location, etc.

I was once dating someone who had some trouble focusing and single-tasking. He was very distracted by everything -- watching the TV over my shoulder, checking out every person who walked by, and constantly taking his phone out of his pocket to look at every time it vibrated. On our 6th or 7th date I asked him (not in so many words obviously) if whatever WhatsApp conversation he was missing was more important than our date, and he apologized and asked me to hold his phone for him. Couldn't he have just put it on silent/do not disturb?

I think that sometimes we don't realize that we're being rude. People are so used to having their phones attached to them. When I'm out with friends I try not be on my phone unless it's something important, but some people don't have that sensitivity. There's a thing about when you go out with friends everyone puts their phone in the middle of the table, first person to take their phone to look at foots the bill for the evening...

On a first or second date your phone should probably stay away, but once things are more natural, less formal, maybe it's okay to pull it out for something. I guess I just hate stiffness and formality. If something makes sense then why do we try to conform it to a box it doesn't really fit into? It's like the "rule" about eating out on a first date. If you're hungry, go get something to eat. If I want to share something I painted or wrote, I'll take out my phone to show you.