Presentation and Expectations

How you present yourself when meeting a shadchan or on a date absolutely matters. As much as we hate being judged, we all do it. It's how we make sense of the world. Basing your understanding of someone on your first impressions of him/her hardly seems fair, but if that's all you have to go on, you have to make do.

What sort of impression do you aim for in a job interview? It's all the same sort of thing -- a scenario in which you basically get one shot at representing yourself. Put yourself together nicely and be on your best behavior.

If a shadchan consistently sets you up with a specific type of person, it's very likely that you made that sort of impression on the shadchan. Some people don't make good first impressions, and their "greatness" lies beneath the surface. It can be an issue in these situation types.

For a date, hopefully you may get a chance to make a second and third impression if it really matters. (If you don't get that chance then it probably doesn't really matter, meaning, if someone writes you off that quickly, you probably don't want to be with such a person anyway.) With a shadchan, you may have some leeway, as you can always follow up, and talking to someone after they set you up -- explaining why something wasn't for you -- helps him/her get a better picture as well. 

It's always important to be yourself, but if who you are only comes out when you're comfortable (and you're not comfortable meeting new people), you might have to push yourself for an initial meeting. Practice makes perfect, especially when perfect (perfectly yourself) eventually becomes natural.