Granted, every shadchan has his/her own style, and some are super busy and just practically don't have time to do this right. But, aside from what's outlined in this post, there are a few other things that might be helpful to remember when setting people up.
Don't just fling names/resumes at someone and hope it sticks. Please explain why you think it's a good idea. "Oh, right, I had that idea, okay, just sent him your resume." (Probably along with three other girls'.) Really, and he's going to look at it why?
Try to get the two parties to communicate. Make sure there's a sense of accountability. If one party cannot, please help him/her explore why and communicate that to the other party. It's important information when trying to establish a relationship.
Get back to the parties ASAP; you have a responsibility towards them. Navigating an early (shidduch) relationship can be awkward and nerve-wracking. As the shadchan you have the power to alleviate that a bit. Be on top of the two parties and communicate what's up in a timely fashion.
Treat us with respect please even when you're not working on an idea for us. Don't do things that feed into the anxiety crisis that shidduchim has become. If you ask that people email you on a consistent basis just to touch base, then please acknowledge the reach-out. If people pay to come and meet you, please follow up even if nothing comes of your ideas. Just treat us as people and recognize that we're so burned out of meeting shadchanim.
In the battle of shidduchim, I am a warrior. Every day is a fight for sanity, for clarity, and peace of mind. This is an uncensored account of my shidduch trials and tribulations –– the often emotional, sometimes poetic, confessions of a shidduch dater –– my colorful musings and reflections from behind the lines.
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