It's the fear of the single who has been struggling with shidduchim for awhile. The "exciting" potentials seem to be the ones that have the wrong hashkafos, wouldn't make a good spouse, or just plain aren't on the table or turn you down after one or two dates.
I've fielded this question over and over again coming from people who can't seem to get along with or don't like the dates they think would actually make a good spouse. This leaves these warriors to believe that they're just going to have settle for someone they aren't really attracted to if they want to get married.
My answer to this is a resounding, "No, you won't." If you wanted to "just marry" that person you don't like but makes sense for you on paper, you would have already married him/her! There may not be fireworks when you meet the right one, you may not like him/her right away, but you will like him/her before you get engaged. If you don't, you're making a mistake to take that step.
Marriage isn't just about lining things up and checking off boxes. While everyone figures out what makes sense for them and when differently, there needs to be that connection there. There needs to be that place to return to when the going gets tough. Because it will. Because that's what happens in real life. If you don't respect/like/see potential for love this person, chances are that things will be difficult for you in a marriage with him/her. (It can come later, but there are no guarantees that it will.)
So, yes, you will find that someone that makes sense on paper and in your heart. Absolutely. Just hang in there a little longer...
No comments:
Post a Comment