Second date, dressed like it was a second date, and the venue he took us to was packed. Trying to salvage the date, he suggested we relocate to a different locale nearby. The problem was that he proposed we go do an activity that isn't really possible in formalwear. I'm guessing that he was clueless to this, as sure, it might be a little uncomfy in dress pants and a dress shirt, but it's sort of impossible in the female version of second date attire. I subtly vetoed the idea without pointing out the gaps in this thinking by complimenting his first choice and suggested we stick around for a little while until it clears out a bit, which it did, in a fairly short amount of time. Win win.
What about when he keeps making the same wrong turn over and over and over again? (Waze is really patient!) Or he's clearly going to miss the exit or doesn't know the way but hasn't asked for directions and is just winging it? What if the date destination he suggests will lend itself to a bad evening? When is it okay to say something? Is it ever?
Because you don't know each other, and it isn't a normal relationship, everything you do gets judged and blown up. There's so little context to understand someone in the beginning of a relationship. Because there are certain expectations within shidduch dating, it's hard to say what is okay. He initiates the process (ideas are usually redt to the guy first), he arranges, he drives, he pays, etc. What happens if she has something to say about it? Where's that line before she's labelled "pushy" or "overbearing?" What if it's about communication and mutual give and take? Sometimes I feel like this system assumes that all guys are looking for trophy-wife-eye-candy-yes-girls.
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