Checking Dor Yesharim

Because I usually ask for a Dor Yesharim number before a first date, I sometimes get funny questions. One guy wanted to know, "So are we compatible? This Dor Yesharim thing is so funny. It's this extra step when it's already so complicated to find out information about someone/even just make it to a first date. Like, you're finding out if we're physically compatible to have a family together. It's sort of awkward."

Checking Dor Yesharim is probably the easiest step in the whole process. Talking to this friend, that mentor, etc. etc., trusting that they're telling you the truth and not just looking out for the person you're asking about, as well as hoping that you have the same understanding of the terms you're using as you do (someone else's "yeshivish,""aidel," or even "open-minded" or "sweet" can be worlds apart from your own meaning) is a whole lot harder.

The whole "checking into" procedure is all about trying to establish compatibility. Checking Dor Yesharim is probably the most concrete way we can do that. It isn't awkward; we're dating for marriage/to have a family together. That's the goal here.

Yes, we're compatible, we wouldn't be on this date if not, but you can also give Dor Yesharim a call if you want.

I'm pretty sure I have good genes, because I've never had an issue with anyone; I've been proven compatible with every guy I've dated. The reason, though, that I check Dor Yesharim before starting to see someone is more logistics than anything else. If you don't check Dor Yesharim on the outset, then when do you decide to check it? When it's getting, but isn't quite yet, serious? Who decides when that is? Will it get awkward when you then ask for a Dor Yesharim number, because you're suggesting it's going somewhere? What if you forget or things move really quickly and you don't have a chance to determine genetic compatibility before it gets serious?

I think the point is to check Dor Yesharim before the relationship gets serious on the off chance that you're not compatible and you'll be devastated if you have to break it off because you're already emotional involved.

Why make things complicated if they can be simple?