Thanks to the Shadchan

We have a practice of giving shadchanus to the shadchan involved in a successful shidduch.  It's hakaras hatov, it's mesora, it's important.

It's also important to extend your appreciation to those who set you up even when it does not work out. It is difficult sometimes to do this when the guy/girl was really not for you, and/or you spend a couple of weeks in turmoil dating someone. Either way, this third party extended time, effort, etc. even before you met your date. It's only proper to say thank you.

Saying thank you should be a given, and writing a thank you note (card or even email) is even better. A small gift is nice too; a big gift more appropriate for a longer dating stint and/or a situation where the person put in a lot of work.

There have been stories about people who forgot to give their shadchan shadchanus and all sorts of bad things happened. Hakaras hatov is super important. In a similar vein, it's essential to thank those that set you up even if it doesn't go past a few dates. I've heard the idea that a bas kol named, not only your zivug, but all the people that you need to/will date before meeting the right one. So, "shadchanus" is appropriate in both situations. If you don't end up marrying the person, give hakaras hatov on a smaller scale.

Being a shadchan can be a thankless job when your effort doesn't pay off. Don't be one of those people who forget to say thanks to the shadchan.