Amit it, we're all probably guilty of this to varying degrees. Whether it's obsessively checking simcha websites to see when someone you dated gets engaged, or it's full on visiting their Facebook page and/or other social media. It's the day and age in which you can still "stay in the loop" about someone even if you don't talk to him/her or have any mutual friends to keep you updated.
What sort or satisfaction do we get from digitally checking up on an ex though? Does it feel like we're still connected to the person in some way if we watch as he updates his social media? Is it that we just can't let go, so we need to know what the person is up to?
In situations in which it was a serious relationship/break up, I think feeding into this obsession is unhealthy and it infringes on healing. It's really hard to move forward when you have reminders about this person in your face/at your fingertips all the time. Perhaps it isn't exactly "out of sight, out of mind," but it definitely does work the opposite way, "in your sight, on your mind."
As hard as it is, when you're trying to get over someone, get rid of all the things that remind you of him/her. Somethings you can't really help because they may be places you go or songs that come on, and you might listen for minute before you change it. After awhile you'll realize that your mind is clearer and you haven't thought about him/her for awhile. Just a little bit stronger...
In the digital age, the saying "Time heals all wounds" doesn't work as well if I can still keep tabs on my exes through the internet. Because, although time is passing since the the end of that relationship, if you're still aware of updates in their life through the internet...yes you've had time apart from this person but they're still occupying space in your brain. Sometimes when I have that nagging curiosity to just check up on them online, I just try to distract myself or ask myself..."will I really benefit from knowing this information?" And other times, I end up not listening to the logical side of me and just want to fulfill that nagging curiosity :) I honestly believe that the digital age we live in slows down the natural process that's supposed to take place of moving on from a relationship, healing, and ultimately being fully ready to embark on another when that time comes along.
ReplyDeleteAll good points!
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