Life's Roll Call: Being More Present

Reading about a study cited in the Journal of Positive Psychology regarding people who were asked to notice nature (take a picture of a nature object or scene in their daily routine, and think about how it made them feel), who then in turn reported higher levels (versus the control group) of positive affect and greater friendliness and connectedness with others, made me wonder if just being more present, in general, in our lives leads to these benefits as well.

Often I feel like we're so caught up in what's wrong in our lives. We focus on what we don't have, what we don't like, and what's wrong, because logically that would be the road towards recouping a loss. If you're not aware of what you're missing, you won't go looking for it. We subconsciously fixate on things, because it gives us an illusion of control. Letting go of this worry and only engaging in helpful productive behaviors is ultimately freeing. (What sort of benefit does fretting about when you'll get married or have a date afford you?)

We focus a lot on being single; we can't help it. In a relationship-infested world and marriage-oriented culture, being single makes you the odd one out. It's also often painful. However, if we tried to concentrate more on things outside of ourselves, be more present in our lives -- feeling the pain, processing it and then letting it go, would we be happier?

Dr. Dovid Lieberman, in his book How Free Will Works: The Blueprints to Take Charge of Your Life, Health and Happiness, talks about the concept of pain versus suffering. It's the same approach that Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) uses. We can't control pain, it's a normal side effect of living, but we do decide if we suffer. If you try to avoid and/or numb pain, you end up suffering. Suffering is what you layer on that pain. What is the narrative you're telling yourself? Is it making the pain worse?

Being more present, noticing and accepting positive and negative things, will likely increase our positive affect, friendliness and connectedness to others.