Protocol and Pretenses

Opening car doors is an act of gallantry, superfluous perhaps, but chivalrous.

Some girls roll their eyes at such gentlemanly acts, frustrated with stereotypical gender roles, or maybe it's the fact that they feel like it's a show. My father still opens doors for my mother, my sisters and me. It's not a front; it's real. The question is, is the fellow on the date genuine or just doing it because someone told him to?

When a guy opens a car door for me, but then he totally botches up a simple request for napkins (which were at his elbow) when I get whipped cream in my hair, it leaves me scratching my head.

Opening doors in general could get questionable, because typically that means that the girl is walking in front of the guy. Although, when he enters first and is walking ten paces ahead, that is not very attractive either. (We can stand to take a lesson from what we learned in Kindergarten: "Just walk beside me...")

Perhaps a better gauge is does he walk the girl to the door, or at least wait until she's gotten inside, when he drops her off? It's about being a man, taking care of your girl. I do appreciate a young man who wants to take care of me.

Offering a drink to a girl on a date is another one. If you were sitting and talking to anyone for a few hours, wouldn't you offer him a drink? It's not rocket science.

While there is so much silly protocol, I do believe that a lot of it exists for a reason. However, I think we can say that, because of the way shidduch dating works, if he doesn't follow "protocol" it probably means something, but if he does, does that just mean someone coached him well or is he really a gentleman?