The Perfect Shidduch

"I know a guy. Do you think he's for you?"

"Uhh, what can you tell me about him?"

"I don't really have any details, but can you send me your resume?"

"Sure, but I'm just curious, why do you think it's a good idea if you don't really know him?"

"Why are you being so picky? Don't you want to get married?!"

(Silence. There's no good answer to that one.)

"And send me a picture, but not that one or that one. C'mon! Don't you have a better picture? Here, let me take one right now."

I know you mean well, but just because he has a Y chromosome and wears some version of a head-covering does not mean that it's the "perfect shidduch." I know you think you're being helpful when you hear of a guy who is "a little bit older," so you think of me. Honestly, age is just a number and I wouldn't "say no" because of age (unless he's 7+ years older than me), but we do have to be able to relate.

Guy X, a guy who I didn't think was shyuch for me (mostly because of the generation gap), worked for many months trying to figure out who could convince me to go out with him (and he managed to find several). I finally agreed to see him, and we couldn't find one single thing to talk about. His siblings were my parents' age, his nieces and nephews were my age, his parents my grandparents' age. We didn't grow up in the same generation. We just didn't have anything in common.

You don't think it matters that he's 5'3"? No, I'm not 5'4"(when was the last time you saw me in person?), and actually an inch does matter. I'm 5'6," and, in reality, several inches matter. I'm most comfortable with quite a few inch height difference, where he's a good number of inches taller than 5'6".  (But, for the record, I will go out with someone if he doesn't meet this preference if everything else about him sounds on the mark. When the only things you know about him/are telling me are strikes against him in my book, we're already starting from negative territory.)

Not only his religious observance, but his hashkafos and frumkeit boil down to values. Those are not superficial differences! It's actually the backbone of the relationship. I probably can get along with anyone if I like him enough, but as a friend, not a spouse!

It's okay if you don't know anyone for me, especially if you don't know me. I would be happy to have a conversation with you about me and what I'm seeking in a spouse if you're really that interested. I would also appreciate that you extend this curtesy to the guy who you are suggesting for me so that you know something about him aside from his age.